Tired but high on life

My father-in-law is still down in Tampa, FL, so he wasn't there when I got there today, but I took a picture of his car anyway. I don't wanna fergit before I leave. I got to drive this 500hp beast. I can die happy now.

I also need to get a picture of him. I don't even have one anymore. I had an awesome one of him and his wife, before and after, at their wedding and now, 27 years later, but the ex-wife-creature took it. Makes sense, I reckon, it's her dad. It just happened to be a special picture to me. Actually, this is why writing this crap helps, I need to see if I can get one of my own.

Whew. I am finally done with that part of this wonderful experience that is ending one life and starting a new one. I put the items that the ex-wife-creature was letting me use til the end, like the tv and the recliner, in her storage. Then, I took the fridge and the awesome doghouse I builted up to Butch's.

I write this crap for me, because it is very therapeutic and I want to look back on it and see the changes. However, if somebody happens to read this, I want it to be somewhat coherent. This is why I will say certain things, like what I'm fitna.

I am tired, as usual, but now I'm frickin tard. My vision is an excellent indicator of when I am really tired. It's like a gas gauge. It shows me clearly when I'm in the red. Usually my vision is like taking a hundred pictures a minute. It's clear but it's constant work. I think this has a lot to do with the fatigue I struggle with. Today, I muscled a refrigerator, a large doghouse and plenty of other items.

Holy crap, I just had to come back and edit this because I didn't even say it. My vision is a great indicator... Now, I am so tard that it's like being drunk. Not like I can't drive. Ya' know when yer drunk and you try to focus because yer eyeballs keep losing focus? Well, the difference is, I can actually get the focus, it's just more work than usual. It's still only a fraction of a second, but when I live with it, it's noticed. Ok, now, I go drink more.

Strength is not a problem. I am so glad that God has allowed me to keep that. I used to work so hard for it. I worked out 5 or 6 days a week, ate 5,000 or so calories a day, making sure to regiment my meals, eating 5 or 6 meals a day, and I took supplements to help me have energy and gain weight. Pshaw. Maybe 50 or so extra bucks a month to accomplish what I have now.

Now, I eat one meal a day, on average, drink beers every day, haven't worked out in months, and still weigh the same 174 pounds and am just as strong and tone as I ever was. The difference is, before I was arrogant about what a badass I was. Now, I realize even more that I have an over-sized badassness gland. However, I am thankful that God blessed me with who and what I am. I am thankful, again, that I was allowed to keep what I have. As I've said a hundred times, life is hard, but I am thankful that I can still do so much like drive, fix, build, lift.

Today is a great example of why I am a God-lover. I went to Uhaul to get an appliance dolly to move the fridge. They didn't have one. They checked and the nearest one available was frickin way over there, like 25 miles away. Aw damm. However, someone left a Ryder appliance dolly in one of their trucks. Awesome. So, I got to borrow an appliance dolly for free.

It's a small thing, I know, but life is made up of all these small things. And they really mean something big when you look at the big picture. This would have meant either driving way ovar or muscle-f'in the fridge. When this little thing is added to the other little things over the course of a week or a month or a year, I have no doubt that God is blessing me in ways that I couldn't imagine.

Ok, I'm gonna go drink more beers, in the garage, I guess. I gave the ex-wife-creature the chairs on the front porch, too.

Listening to: Planet Caravan, by Pantera