This is the first of three parts. I was recently told about this blog by a friend. He is tracking his road trip across the country. I was excited to find that is a Google thing so I can use the login I already have for Gmail.
The following entries are the last couple months of what I put in the journal. I was introduced to it and thought it would be a great way to track life events. Life is ever-changing, especially right now, and I want to be able to look back on it.
Ok, so here it be:
***********************************************************************************
31st-May-2007 09:17 am - Just sleepy tard
I got up at 7 and have been chillin this morning, waiting for Christian to wake up so we can go swimming. He's on the same schedule I am, no hurry. I cut some roses of the bush in the backyard to take over to TGB's and I'm just drinking my second cup of really strong coffee. I oops'ed. I made a full pot in the filter but I still put the usual 3/4 pot into the tank. I also just switched to Dark coffee cause I wanted something stronger. Well, it's stronger.
Mood:sleepy
Music:Trampled Under Foot, Led Zeppelin
29th-May-2007 05:37 pm - Gotta get on it
I got up at around 7, the usual. I was tired, the usual. I did a couple small things and waited for the peeps who are buying the BR, lawn tractor, and desk to come give me money. They gived me half and will give me the rest in a week when they pick them up. Once they left, I was feeling reluctant about sitting on the front porch with my best friend being exhausted, so I went to my mom's. When I got back, after a couple hours, I sat on the front porch with my best friend, enjoying this awesome weather and sky and trees. I was overwhelmed, and thanked God for allowing me to experience this awesomeness.I ate one of the tomatoes that Claudio and Tham brought over last night. Tonight, they are going to bring the tomato preserves that Claudio made. Sounds weird, but ok. They have dazzled me so far.So, as the tomato was being washed down, Christian called. He is in Alabammy. So, he will be here tonight. Holy shite. I need to get on it. I still have yet to clean the bathrooms. So, here I go, to get another beer and do stuff.
Mood:anxious
Music:Ted, Just Admit It..., Jane's Addiction
28th-May-2007 01:22 pm - whew!
Ok, same ol' story, John. You are tired today. I was already worn out on Friday, before I started working on the truck. Then, the next day, I helped Shalane get her stuff into storage. That was a few trips, with three trucks. The past couple days I have been wiped. Yesterday, the first day without the kids, I slept til 11 for the first time since I was a teenager.Today, I woke up at 7, which is usually about as late as I can stay in bed. I spent most of the day trying to rest and get my energies back to clean in preparation for Christian getting here soon. I got a wild hair. I got irritated about stepping on stuff with my bare feet in the dining room and I did what I usually do, I got on a roll. I swept the dining room, then the kitchen, then the laundry room, then the kids' bathroom, then my bathroom. Then, since I swept and I needed to mop anyway, I mopped all those floors. Needless to say, I was already tired. I would go drink a beer but I think I'm gonna go to the store and maybe run out to my mom's. That beer sure will taste good later. Well, maybe rum n coke cause the sun might be down by then. Beer just isn't the same without the sunshine.Ok, I think that's all I'm gonna do. I still need to clean both bathrooms and load the dishwasher again. I need to refill the energy tank. I think I used the quarter tank I had accumulated.
Mood:exhausted
Music:Shake Like You, Corrosion of Conformity
25th-May-2007 10:18 pm - Like a broken record
I am frickin tard again. I was already exhausted this morning. But, the ex-wife-creature showed up and said she wasn't actually going to get a storage unit today so I went to see her dad. My muffler cracked like an egg and he said he knew a place I could take it up there for cheapness. I called down here and the stock muffler was $100 for just the muffler. Ouch.My son has a friend, like many friends I had in school, they feed off each other and do stoopid things. My father-in-law and I don't do stoopid things but we feed off each other. We are like a couple excited kids on Christmas morning. We love to talk about cars, life in general, eat food, and work on cars. Either one of us alone is already an overzealous freak that works on a project until it's done, or we collapse. But, when we get together it's worse.Today, I went up there to get the muffler replaced and ended up taking him to lunch at the awesomest burger place ever. I go there whenever I go up there, usually. Then, since my wear indicators on my brakes started squeeling, we went to Auto Zone and bought some new pads. Then, after filling up with a hundred and 18 MF'n dollars in gas, I went back to the house to start work.He was at the parts store getting a fuse for a little truck he's working on. He was in the badass El Camino because we had just picked up my truck. The muffler cost me $40. Holy crap, that was muffler and install, welded even. Two benefits, boonies and my father-in-law's reputation. Hells yeah. So, I beat him back to the house so I made room under the awning thing and nosed my truck in there to keep the sun off my head. Damm, it was hot. So hot, as a matta fack, I went inside and got a beer and sat on the front porch chillin fer a minute to let the sun get a bit lower and to just rest. So, muffler done, but that was just the start. I ended up replacing the front brakes, then an oil change because he happened to have some full synthetic and it was drydocked anyway. then, while the wheels were off anyway, it was easier to get to the grease fittings on the front end so I took care of that, too. It is all stuff that needs to be done before I make the long haul to FL, anyway. Whew, I left at 9, for an hour ride home.So, again I say, I'm frickin tard. I have grease under my nails and ground nicely into the cracks and crevices in my hands, so, I am going to make a nice, strong Sailor Jerry's and Pepsi, and take a nice relaxing bath in my large jacuzzi tub, while I still have it.The ex-wife-creature reminded me once again why I'm glad she decided on divorce again. I'm too tired, so hopefully, I'll remember what the hell I'm talking about when I look back on this.
Mood:exhausted
Music:Clubbed to Death, Rob D. (from the Matrix soundtrack
24th-May-2007 07:14 am - Dammit
I am so frickin tard. I feel like I used to feel when I did construction work. My whole body is just worn out like I did some hard manual labor.The ex-wife-creature is coming Friday to put her stuff and the kids' stuff in storage. The kids will be leaving for FL where they are gonna fly to Cali on Sunday. So, while I will get a break from kid-related responsibilities, I will be helping her because she doesn't have much help. So, I need to get in all the rest I can before Friday.Christian sent me a message this morning to let me know he'll be here around the end of the month. A bit sooner than I expected but I don't mind. I am so tard.
Mood:tired
Music:Ex-girlfriend, No Doubt
23rd-May-2007 07:56 am - A post in TBI group
I was feeling a grumbling this morning and thought I would write about it since no one has written in a couple days.I have an online journal I started to track life events. There are a lot of things going on right now that I'd like to look back on.In this journal, I wrote that the thing I hate the most about this crippleness is the damn fatigue. I am strong as an ox but I get tired so easy. I see it as God's way of slowing me down and I trust in His will and I'm thankful for all the stuff I can still do like fixing my truck or mowing the lawn or taking care of these two darling punk kids by myself for the last 10 months.It works, I guess. It's very similar to how I was before, I just do less now before I'm wiped out. Before, I would get up at 4 and go to bed around midnight for months. Then, every few months, I would be a lazy bum on the couch. Now, it's every few days.I'm just trying to learn the new me. It's been almost 2 years but I'm still learning. I am still learning how to be a nasty civilian. I think I will fit well into this beachbum lifestyle. At the end of school this week, the ex-wife-creature will take the kids so I will be alone. I am moving to FL to be around the kids but I will still be alone. I expect to re-familiarize myself with the beach. The Navy taught me to be a professional drinker so, when I'm tired from fixing, etc, I think I can fill the time ok.Blah, blah, blah, ok enough.Thank you all for your input. It really does help to hear from other people who were damaged in a similar way.
Mood:tired
Music:Back to Life, Soul 2 Soul
21st-May-2007 04:45 pm - Damm they's good!
Rhianna made some cookies for her class' end of year. They are chocolate chip/ oatmeal and they are so good. The last couple batches she made turned out like dry biscuits so this time I told her to make them smaller because they'll spread out so she made these little drops that made quarter size cookies. They are really good. They're like bite-size and sooo good. I am trying to hold myself back so there is enough to take to school. We are going to the dollar store tonight to get some little gift bags to put them in. Since they are so small, there are like a hundred or so. I will be happy to eat the remainder.
Mood:hot
Music:Sunny Day, Deana Carter
20th-May-2007 08:35 pm - God's awesome ironic sense of humor
I was just loading the washer and, as I was doing the same ol' crap like unwadding socks or pulling one pantleg out, I though about how this is an example of, what I see as, God's ironic sense of humor. I have always been a clean freak and my son is a slob.
I see both of my kids as me wearing two hats. Rhianna is the me I am when I'm wearing the bookworm, organized hat. Neriah is the me I am when I'm wearing the 'what the hell' hat. This is how I am afraid of his teenage years. He doesn't seem to feel pain or fear anything. I love machines and adrenaline rushes and he is my reality. Rhianna is the goody goody who gets awesome grades, and is frickin beautiful. This is why I fear her teenage years. I don't look forward to her bringing home some long-haired like I was. I think, I hope the difference will be that she will have both parents, even if they're divorced, and she will be told about things like college and a future that her mother and I were not endowed with because our parents were uneducated knuckleheads. They tried but they just didn't know. I love knowledge and learning and everything having a place and she is my reality.They are both like half of me. Each quality is interesting and useful but also has the downside. A lot of the stuff that they still must learn, I have overcome the downside of, or learned to replace with something better, or to simply have some self-control. I am just happy to have the opportunity to teach them from my mistakes. Of course, they are going to 'know everything' and go through the teenage crap but I just want to teach them enough that they will actually know the right thing to do. I don't care if they think it's their idea, as long as they decide that getting married too damn young is not an option or partying is fun but college is better and life is expensive. Yeah, money is the root of all evil, when you don't have any. Being poor is crap. I have been poor and well-off and ferget poor. Yes, it's easy to get distracted by 'stuff' but it's even easier to get distracted or engulfed by 'surviving'. You don't have to be poor to appreciate a decent home and being able to buy a birhtday present for your kids' friend at school. That's important. It's not about a designer tag on yer ass. It's about kids thinking about life not the absence of life.
Mood:awake
Music:The Answer, Sarah McLachlan
19th-May-2007 08:53 pm - I'm thinking about monkeys
now you are too. Haa!
I posted the following as a Bulletin in Myspace to give notice of my pics but after I was done I thought I would like to add it to my permanent record so I can look back on it later.
Today, I took advantage of another opportunity to do supm fun wit da kids before they go to Cali next weekend. Some friends went hiking up in da North GA mountains and invited me to come. It was a long drive but awesome.
I was reminded of why I settled here after retiring from the Navy. I have seen amazing things in our country and many other countries but, while every place has it's own little thing, North GA is the best overall. I love it here. I will miss it when I go to FL.
So, anyway, before I get all sad, I posted some new pics. I also posted some from Rhianna's award ceremony at school the other day.
She got the usual academic stuff, which is nice, but she also got an Outstanding Citizenship award. Her and one other girl got one. It's for basically being a joy to be around. She not only gets good grades but she befriends everyone, helps everyone, and is generally pleasant.
Amidst all the challenges in life right now such as the wife leaving, Bankruptcy, and the everyday challenges of being a damaged badass, this award makes it all ok. It tells me I did ok.
I am constantly frustrated at how hard it can be to do the simplest things that used to be so easy and how easily I get tired. However, I am thankful that I can still do so much and, even more so, I am thankful that I can be around the kids and focus my energies without the distraction of a job. I hope to give them more than I had growing up, namely guidance and direction about college, life, etc.
Ok, enough. Go look at my new pictures.
Mood:tired
Music:Spin You Around, Puddle of Mudd
18th-May-2007 11:05 am - I'm Broken!!!
I just went to Rhianna's school for an awards day ceremony. She got 3 awards: Language arts, Honor Roll, and her and one other girl got an award for Outstanding Citizenship. It's an award for just being an awesome person; a joy to teach, a great friend to all, etc. It makes me proud that, even in light of all this life crap going on like Divorce, Bankruptcy, Crippleness, I apparently did an ok job with what really counts. All this other crap can ffffffade away.
Mood:good
Music:Broken, Pantera
The following entries are the last couple months of what I put in the journal. I was introduced to it and thought it would be a great way to track life events. Life is ever-changing, especially right now, and I want to be able to look back on it.
Ok, so here it be:
***********************************************************************************
31st-May-2007 09:17 am - Just sleepy tard
I got up at 7 and have been chillin this morning, waiting for Christian to wake up so we can go swimming. He's on the same schedule I am, no hurry. I cut some roses of the bush in the backyard to take over to TGB's and I'm just drinking my second cup of really strong coffee. I oops'ed. I made a full pot in the filter but I still put the usual 3/4 pot into the tank. I also just switched to Dark coffee cause I wanted something stronger. Well, it's stronger.
Mood:sleepy
Music:Trampled Under Foot, Led Zeppelin
29th-May-2007 05:37 pm - Gotta get on it
I got up at around 7, the usual. I was tired, the usual. I did a couple small things and waited for the peeps who are buying the BR, lawn tractor, and desk to come give me money. They gived me half and will give me the rest in a week when they pick them up. Once they left, I was feeling reluctant about sitting on the front porch with my best friend being exhausted, so I went to my mom's. When I got back, after a couple hours, I sat on the front porch with my best friend, enjoying this awesome weather and sky and trees. I was overwhelmed, and thanked God for allowing me to experience this awesomeness.I ate one of the tomatoes that Claudio and Tham brought over last night. Tonight, they are going to bring the tomato preserves that Claudio made. Sounds weird, but ok. They have dazzled me so far.So, as the tomato was being washed down, Christian called. He is in Alabammy. So, he will be here tonight. Holy shite. I need to get on it. I still have yet to clean the bathrooms. So, here I go, to get another beer and do stuff.
Mood:anxious
Music:Ted, Just Admit It..., Jane's Addiction
28th-May-2007 01:22 pm - whew!
Ok, same ol' story, John. You are tired today. I was already worn out on Friday, before I started working on the truck. Then, the next day, I helped Shalane get her stuff into storage. That was a few trips, with three trucks. The past couple days I have been wiped. Yesterday, the first day without the kids, I slept til 11 for the first time since I was a teenager.Today, I woke up at 7, which is usually about as late as I can stay in bed. I spent most of the day trying to rest and get my energies back to clean in preparation for Christian getting here soon. I got a wild hair. I got irritated about stepping on stuff with my bare feet in the dining room and I did what I usually do, I got on a roll. I swept the dining room, then the kitchen, then the laundry room, then the kids' bathroom, then my bathroom. Then, since I swept and I needed to mop anyway, I mopped all those floors. Needless to say, I was already tired. I would go drink a beer but I think I'm gonna go to the store and maybe run out to my mom's. That beer sure will taste good later. Well, maybe rum n coke cause the sun might be down by then. Beer just isn't the same without the sunshine.Ok, I think that's all I'm gonna do. I still need to clean both bathrooms and load the dishwasher again. I need to refill the energy tank. I think I used the quarter tank I had accumulated.
Mood:exhausted
Music:Shake Like You, Corrosion of Conformity
25th-May-2007 10:18 pm - Like a broken record
I am frickin tard again. I was already exhausted this morning. But, the ex-wife-creature showed up and said she wasn't actually going to get a storage unit today so I went to see her dad. My muffler cracked like an egg and he said he knew a place I could take it up there for cheapness. I called down here and the stock muffler was $100 for just the muffler. Ouch.My son has a friend, like many friends I had in school, they feed off each other and do stoopid things. My father-in-law and I don't do stoopid things but we feed off each other. We are like a couple excited kids on Christmas morning. We love to talk about cars, life in general, eat food, and work on cars. Either one of us alone is already an overzealous freak that works on a project until it's done, or we collapse. But, when we get together it's worse.Today, I went up there to get the muffler replaced and ended up taking him to lunch at the awesomest burger place ever. I go there whenever I go up there, usually. Then, since my wear indicators on my brakes started squeeling, we went to Auto Zone and bought some new pads. Then, after filling up with a hundred and 18 MF'n dollars in gas, I went back to the house to start work.He was at the parts store getting a fuse for a little truck he's working on. He was in the badass El Camino because we had just picked up my truck. The muffler cost me $40. Holy crap, that was muffler and install, welded even. Two benefits, boonies and my father-in-law's reputation. Hells yeah. So, I beat him back to the house so I made room under the awning thing and nosed my truck in there to keep the sun off my head. Damm, it was hot. So hot, as a matta fack, I went inside and got a beer and sat on the front porch chillin fer a minute to let the sun get a bit lower and to just rest. So, muffler done, but that was just the start. I ended up replacing the front brakes, then an oil change because he happened to have some full synthetic and it was drydocked anyway. then, while the wheels were off anyway, it was easier to get to the grease fittings on the front end so I took care of that, too. It is all stuff that needs to be done before I make the long haul to FL, anyway. Whew, I left at 9, for an hour ride home.So, again I say, I'm frickin tard. I have grease under my nails and ground nicely into the cracks and crevices in my hands, so, I am going to make a nice, strong Sailor Jerry's and Pepsi, and take a nice relaxing bath in my large jacuzzi tub, while I still have it.The ex-wife-creature reminded me once again why I'm glad she decided on divorce again. I'm too tired, so hopefully, I'll remember what the hell I'm talking about when I look back on this.
Mood:exhausted
Music:Clubbed to Death, Rob D. (from the Matrix soundtrack
24th-May-2007 07:14 am - Dammit
I am so frickin tard. I feel like I used to feel when I did construction work. My whole body is just worn out like I did some hard manual labor.The ex-wife-creature is coming Friday to put her stuff and the kids' stuff in storage. The kids will be leaving for FL where they are gonna fly to Cali on Sunday. So, while I will get a break from kid-related responsibilities, I will be helping her because she doesn't have much help. So, I need to get in all the rest I can before Friday.Christian sent me a message this morning to let me know he'll be here around the end of the month. A bit sooner than I expected but I don't mind. I am so tard.
Mood:tired
Music:Ex-girlfriend, No Doubt
23rd-May-2007 07:56 am - A post in TBI group
I was feeling a grumbling this morning and thought I would write about it since no one has written in a couple days.I have an online journal I started to track life events. There are a lot of things going on right now that I'd like to look back on.In this journal, I wrote that the thing I hate the most about this crippleness is the damn fatigue. I am strong as an ox but I get tired so easy. I see it as God's way of slowing me down and I trust in His will and I'm thankful for all the stuff I can still do like fixing my truck or mowing the lawn or taking care of these two darling punk kids by myself for the last 10 months.It works, I guess. It's very similar to how I was before, I just do less now before I'm wiped out. Before, I would get up at 4 and go to bed around midnight for months. Then, every few months, I would be a lazy bum on the couch. Now, it's every few days.I'm just trying to learn the new me. It's been almost 2 years but I'm still learning. I am still learning how to be a nasty civilian. I think I will fit well into this beachbum lifestyle. At the end of school this week, the ex-wife-creature will take the kids so I will be alone. I am moving to FL to be around the kids but I will still be alone. I expect to re-familiarize myself with the beach. The Navy taught me to be a professional drinker so, when I'm tired from fixing, etc, I think I can fill the time ok.Blah, blah, blah, ok enough.Thank you all for your input. It really does help to hear from other people who were damaged in a similar way.
Mood:tired
Music:Back to Life, Soul 2 Soul
21st-May-2007 04:45 pm - Damm they's good!
Rhianna made some cookies for her class' end of year. They are chocolate chip/ oatmeal and they are so good. The last couple batches she made turned out like dry biscuits so this time I told her to make them smaller because they'll spread out so she made these little drops that made quarter size cookies. They are really good. They're like bite-size and sooo good. I am trying to hold myself back so there is enough to take to school. We are going to the dollar store tonight to get some little gift bags to put them in. Since they are so small, there are like a hundred or so. I will be happy to eat the remainder.
Mood:hot
Music:Sunny Day, Deana Carter
20th-May-2007 08:35 pm - God's awesome ironic sense of humor
I was just loading the washer and, as I was doing the same ol' crap like unwadding socks or pulling one pantleg out, I though about how this is an example of, what I see as, God's ironic sense of humor. I have always been a clean freak and my son is a slob.
I see both of my kids as me wearing two hats. Rhianna is the me I am when I'm wearing the bookworm, organized hat. Neriah is the me I am when I'm wearing the 'what the hell' hat. This is how I am afraid of his teenage years. He doesn't seem to feel pain or fear anything. I love machines and adrenaline rushes and he is my reality. Rhianna is the goody goody who gets awesome grades, and is frickin beautiful. This is why I fear her teenage years. I don't look forward to her bringing home some long-haired like I was. I think, I hope the difference will be that she will have both parents, even if they're divorced, and she will be told about things like college and a future that her mother and I were not endowed with because our parents were uneducated knuckleheads. They tried but they just didn't know. I love knowledge and learning and everything having a place and she is my reality.They are both like half of me. Each quality is interesting and useful but also has the downside. A lot of the stuff that they still must learn, I have overcome the downside of, or learned to replace with something better, or to simply have some self-control. I am just happy to have the opportunity to teach them from my mistakes. Of course, they are going to 'know everything' and go through the teenage crap but I just want to teach them enough that they will actually know the right thing to do. I don't care if they think it's their idea, as long as they decide that getting married too damn young is not an option or partying is fun but college is better and life is expensive. Yeah, money is the root of all evil, when you don't have any. Being poor is crap. I have been poor and well-off and ferget poor. Yes, it's easy to get distracted by 'stuff' but it's even easier to get distracted or engulfed by 'surviving'. You don't have to be poor to appreciate a decent home and being able to buy a birhtday present for your kids' friend at school. That's important. It's not about a designer tag on yer ass. It's about kids thinking about life not the absence of life.
Mood:awake
Music:The Answer, Sarah McLachlan
19th-May-2007 08:53 pm - I'm thinking about monkeys
now you are too. Haa!
I posted the following as a Bulletin in Myspace to give notice of my pics but after I was done I thought I would like to add it to my permanent record so I can look back on it later.
Today, I took advantage of another opportunity to do supm fun wit da kids before they go to Cali next weekend. Some friends went hiking up in da North GA mountains and invited me to come. It was a long drive but awesome.
I was reminded of why I settled here after retiring from the Navy. I have seen amazing things in our country and many other countries but, while every place has it's own little thing, North GA is the best overall. I love it here. I will miss it when I go to FL.
So, anyway, before I get all sad, I posted some new pics. I also posted some from Rhianna's award ceremony at school the other day.
She got the usual academic stuff, which is nice, but she also got an Outstanding Citizenship award. Her and one other girl got one. It's for basically being a joy to be around. She not only gets good grades but she befriends everyone, helps everyone, and is generally pleasant.
Amidst all the challenges in life right now such as the wife leaving, Bankruptcy, and the everyday challenges of being a damaged badass, this award makes it all ok. It tells me I did ok.
I am constantly frustrated at how hard it can be to do the simplest things that used to be so easy and how easily I get tired. However, I am thankful that I can still do so much and, even more so, I am thankful that I can be around the kids and focus my energies without the distraction of a job. I hope to give them more than I had growing up, namely guidance and direction about college, life, etc.
Ok, enough. Go look at my new pictures.
Mood:tired
Music:Spin You Around, Puddle of Mudd
18th-May-2007 11:05 am - I'm Broken!!!
I just went to Rhianna's school for an awards day ceremony. She got 3 awards: Language arts, Honor Roll, and her and one other girl got an award for Outstanding Citizenship. It's an award for just being an awesome person; a joy to teach, a great friend to all, etc. It makes me proud that, even in light of all this life crap going on like Divorce, Bankruptcy, Crippleness, I apparently did an ok job with what really counts. All this other crap can ffffffade away.
Mood:good
Music:Broken, Pantera
2 comments:
Brilliant blog, I had not come across navyjohn.blogspot.com previously during my searches!
Keep up the good work!
Hi - I am really happy to find this. Good job!
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