Here I am again

Frickin exhausted again. I just vacuum'd the hall, living room, and ex-gym. I also, put all my bathroom items in a bathroom suitcase thing. Then, I put some clothing items in a suitcase. Then, I packed a box with some books, etc. and my awesome tactical bag with some books, etc.

I was about to go back into the closet to pack some cold-weather clothes when I slowed down long enough to realize I'm whooped, again.

So, I assumed the position on the front porch. As I was finishing my 10th 8oz. serving of water, and reminiscing about the Toblerone the chocolate fairy brought me that I had just sampled, mmm, I thought about something. I looked at the awesome sky, as I often do, appreciating the blue sky and white clouds being the background for 100 or so feet tall trees.

I looked down at my yard and the much nicer yard across the street. I looked at a wasp buzzing around by me, investigating the front door. I looked at a carpenter bee, nosing through the flowers on some bush right there. I looked at the truck that is far more than I imagined getting.

I, then thought about my challenges and struggles. I thought about getting tired too damm easy. I thought about giving up everything I ever dreamed of to move to Florida. I thought of the work ahead to actually move to Florida at the end of the month. I, then thought that if I could go back to 'normalcy', I thought if I could go back to what I was before but it meant giving up this experience, no way.

Forget the new appreciation for what's really important, realization about so many things, such as my value. Forget these, I am just thankful for the opportunity to sit on the front porch at this house I always dreamed of, looking at this neighborhood that I always dreamed of, feeling this perfect weather, knowing that my kids are happy and will still have a much better life than I had growing up, regardless of the stoopid of their parents.

Even if it's just for a short time, I am thankful to have this experience. So much of life is this way, in my opinion. I guess it depends on who you are.

Listening to: Star Spangled Banner, by Jimi Hendrix