So here I am...

...when I talk to myself, it always starts this way, 'so here I am...crawling under the house, etc.' Now, it is, 'Here I am...sitting on the deck outside the room, that I have been blessed with the opportunity of staying in on the beach in North Cackalacky, writing about life because frustration has been displaced, for the past few years, by writing.' This is unfortunate because since frustration seems to be the majority leader of my writing motivations, I would otherwise prolly be done with one of the three frickin books I have started, but yet to finish. Du...Du Hast...Du Hat Meich?...blahbizagermanblah...ahhhhhhhh Nein! Excuse please, my musics distracted me.

Ok, so, here I am...sitting on the deck outside my room, listening to the frickin awesomeness of the waves crashing steadily and rough against the smooth welcoming beach sands. It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose...oot...there I go again. Colbie Caillat sounds adorable. I has been drinking, so that is my excuse for having a problem staying on track.

Ok, again, here I restart. I am...Can you see I'm easily bothered by persistence. One step from lashing out at you. You are here to get under my skin and call yourself a friend!...Aw shite, fergit it. I ain't feeling it right now.

Run youe mouth while I'm not around, it's easy to acheive, you try to make friends that sympathize. Can you hear the violins playin you sooong....Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me...

Listening to: Walk, by Pantera.

Still diggin the beach life at the beachhouse in North Cackalacky

I went to do some 'honey do' list items with Jack and we stopped and he forced me to eat Bojangle's again. mmm, good.
I wented with Robert and Scott and Kelly/ie?, ya know I dunno, I reckon I should aks, to the land of Devil Dogs.  We wents to the MCX (gub'ment department sto, kinda like a JCP or supm). 
The next moenin we went on a deapsea fishing trip. It was an early rise morning likened unto those that I once was accustomed to, well not quite that early, but frickin 5:20 still, much earlier than my beach bum arse has been accustomed to for the past couple years. We started at like 7. It was nice and cold and extra choppy. The seas were so rough, as a mattafack, that dudeman cap'n said we might just turn around and not even fish. This coupled with several other things that I will use as valid excuses, led to me 'almost', I repeat 'almost' being like one a them 'boot'-like peeps like Scott's Air Force dad, for example, who spent most of the journey face down over the water or sleeping in the forward cabin.

'Almost' because, here's my excuses: (1) I haven't been on any kind of a ship or, especially in this case boat, which is a small floater like the fishing vessel, for three and a half years, (2) this was a small boat in very rough seas, (3) It was cold, which always made me feel woozy and ready for a nap on the big flat tops, and (4) I was tired and not quite rested from being quite drunk just a few hours before. Yes, I could just pretend like it never happened and let it slip into obscurity. However, I am not the braggard type and I can't help but be honest with myself. 

When I say almost, I mean frickin almost, like I was standing at the edge about to spew. Then, I remembered something. When I usedta get woozy in really heavy seas, I would go fer a walk and stand on a sponson somewhere to watch the sea. That is what ultimately helped this time. I was sitting in the middle of the boat and not looking at the sea around. This is when I was the closest I've ever been to throwing up from sea sickiness. I moved to the edge, not to stop it, but seriously, to just give in and do it. I thought this would be a horrible thing for 'Navy John' to do, but I had resigned myself to accepting it. But, like I said, looking out at the sea helped and, especially since it got warmer and less choppy, I did not have problems no mo, whew.

So, we ended up with a string of fishes, well Scott did. All the fishes went to his stringer. None were, in my opinion, and Jennie's actually, worth the trouble. Since the boat peeps cleaned the fishes for their fishers, it was a lot less trouble. However, cooking them, eh. If I am around and there is a fish to be eaten, ok, I'll do my part. There was no big Marlin or human-size shark anywhere on the boat. I caught a few 11" bass, which were an inch too short, which is the story of my life, an inch too short. -sniffle-. I did catch a 'Oyster Cracker' as the cap'n called it, because of it's very strong jaws and lots of teeth. This thing was like all mouth. He said, 'look' and let it latch on to my fishin pole. It was like frickin Vise Grips. Cool. He said it actually cracks open oysters, which is why it bees called that.

This morning I woke up with an idea. I would take advantage of the awesome view we have of the beach from the deck outside our room. I walked out on the deck and guesstimated a good location. My camera phone camera is not quite capable of capturing it because it is quite a distance, like 100 ft. or so, I dunno, way down thar, 3 stories down then ov'ar 50 ft. or so. The words was 'John Loves Emily', well loves wasn't a word exactly, it was a big heart with an 's' next to it. After I done had some coffee and emailed fer a bit, Emily was still sleeping, so I aksed her to help me with a picture, which was my lure to get her on the deck out'r. Her aunt, who said I gits the 'best boyfriend award' was down'r with her mom. Her dad brought his super-nifty-cool camera up to take a picture, that I will hasta get later, so I had a nice audience to guarantee my cool points were tallied prop'ly.
Emily and I sat out on the main deck and ates breakfast pizza. Once again, it was frickin awesome, perfect weather, breeze, seas. The fishing boat out there was a really cool photo opp, but my camera phone camera just don't bees making it showupable. I am tired of computing now, so I must go do nothing some more. I think a book and the deck and maybe a refreshing adult beverage will fit well into my model of the perfect frickin moment, again.

Listening to: Down In The River To Pray, by Alison Krauss

Life events that cannot be compared to the money I usedta scramble around for

I think I already dun used this one, but, eh, such is life. This entry in my life-tracking blog is about the moments that are more valuable than the money I usedta work so hard to amass. I sat drinking a beer and watching peeps on the beach as the waves rolled in steadily and much bigger than the wading pool beaches we has in Florida and the wind, which is pretty intense up here, cooled me much.
Wow, nice and blurry. I went outside to take a picture of the amazing full moon, which I couldn't really capture with my camera phone. Although it's a frickin awesome 3MP camera, it just can't do the nighttime stuff. While I was out there, I took this picture through the sliding glass door to the deck. It was witness to the preparations of dinner stuffs. Miss Ann made one a them thar N'awlins-type shrimp boil thangs. It was a medium-sized gathering of the few of us that were here already.
Blurry again, this is a, tradition as I was told, crab hunt. We scurried down the beach and found and captured sand crabs. The picture above is of a flashlight illuminating a crab being holded by sumbody, I don't remember who.
This morning, I went for a walk by myself because I was up before sleepyhead by at least a couple hours, as usual, and Jack and Miss Ann walked down toward the pier. I went and discovered a cool, pier/gazebo thing behind some park thing. When I came back I sat on the third floor deck and read a bit before taking a nap. I got a book, for fun, for a change. I read so many informational books about religion or spirituality that I rarely just read for fun and therefore, I believe my desire to read is greatly impaired. Anyway, after reading a bit, I layed back and taked a nap. Then, one of my least-favorite things, I was roused by a building and finally intense desire to urinate. Dammit!
As I stepped through the door, Jack greeted me with a question, 'Would you like some French Toast?". Hells yeah. "Yeah, definitely'. So, I ptinkled and returned to eat some awesome French Toast as I watched the waves crash down'ar. mmm, good.

Now, I must cut this short because we is apparently going to town with the parents. Gotsta go pay a caterer and, more importantly, visit the fudge store.

Listening to: Blackened, by Metallica.

The fun times in a beach bum's life

Ok, nothing much of importance in this one, just gluttony, sloth, and lust. The room that Emily's parents are staying in has the shower of my dreams. I've seen some lavish showers with elements that I liked, but nothing was ever exactly right. This one however, was just right, a shower head on each opposing wall and enough space for two people, eight people actually, but I'm not as much into the swinging thing as Emily is.
After investigating the awesomeness of this house that accomodates 21, I did what I do best, I assumed the position in a lawn chair on the third floor deck with a beer and observed the peeps on the beach.
She's such a ham. That's ok with me, though. Damn, she's got back, ynowmsayin? mmm. We walked on down to a far off pier that was pretty long out in that thar wuter. After walking the 14 frickin miles to get thar, it became apparent that the bidniz, I don't remember what it was, bar er supm, and we didn't have no shoes on, so we canx'd that idear. So, I used every muscle to restrain the torrent of urine that was fighting to escape my clutches for the 14 frickin mile hike back.

Listening to: Five String Serenade, by Mazzy Star.

Beach bum in a luxurious setting

Flying up to North Cackalacky for Jennie's wedding, I didn't take many pictures. I mostly zoned and watched Fight Club for the five hundredth time. Fortunately, Emily didn't have a strong opinion otherwise, so she easily complied with my request to sit in the front row, which assured us some leg room, but no tray tables, eh, I prefer the leg room.

Once we getted up here, Emily's parents drived us to the Hampton Inn they were staying at just down the road. The beach house was a few hours ov'ar so we would leave in the morning, roger that. I was forced to go to Bojangle's for dinner. So, while I tried to struggle, I didn't have much choice but to comply since Jack was driving and I couldn't get my door open to jump. I haven't been there in prolly 18 years. They have the best dirty rice. Hell, the 'only' dirty rice I've ever had. Good stuff, though.

After dinner, Jack forced me to be a witness as he bought some Beck's, which I drank a few of, ok four's more than a few, then we gots our sleep on. The next morning, I got up around 7 and wented down to the parents' room. Miss Ann was out walking and Jack was readying. Emily still sleeped when I went to has breakfast, which was another impressive Hampton Inn breakfast. Unfortunately, I have recently decided to cut the sugar out of my diet, so I didn't partake of all the yumminess, such as bagels, and english muffins, and danishes, uuuuuugh. So, I had a quesadilla, which was wrapped individually in the neat little package pictured above. Then, after that and orange juice, I had some yummy blueberry yogurt. Then, I had my decaf coffee before we headed fer the beach house.
Ok, I guess this sign didn't turn out legible. I don't even remember what it said, supm on the way-ish.
Here we bees arriving at the beach house. Damn, it's big. Four frickin floors. I taked lots of pictures, but I isn't gonna write fifteen blogs to put them all on here, so I think I will post them in my Myspace pictures.

There was another picture here, but I backspaced a bit too hard and killed it and I don't feel like putting it back, so this will be the end.

Listening to: Come Down, by Bush.

The second night of awesome hotel rooming

Vanity, vanity, all is vanity. I don't feel like taking pictures of our room tonight, so I'll just use an old one of me, laziness and vanity. Anyway, we are at another Hampton Inn that Emily's dad, once again, got for us. The home warranty peeps, who I will not slander by including their name, said they could not even find someone who would come fix the merferkin A/C on a weekend. Emily was told that if she wanted to find a place hersef, she could get reimbursed by the home warranty whores, I mean peeps. So, after getting home from the frickin hotel at about 11, Emily found out their incompetence and called a place hersef and got someone out in short order. The guy said, what we were actually glad to hear, that the unit looked so old and worn out that it wouldn't even be fixable, so a new unit will be installed tomorrow. So, Emily's dad got us another room at a Hampton Inn. This time, over here instead.

It is yet another awesome room. Unfortunately, I don't feel like taking pictures, but it's a Hampton Inn, so they is pretty awesome. This room isn't quite as nice as the one last night, but it's still pretty ah-ight. The one thing to note is the shower is much better. Actually, it is the best shower I have ever used. It's a stand-up, which I have used, but it is frickin huge. 

I'm tired. I don't feel like writing no mo.

Listening to: Some stoopid expensive Toyota (Lexus) commercial.

John

A/C causing a retreat (pt. 2)

This morning, I woke up late, around 8:30, rousing from a freaky weird dream. My first thought was, 'oh crap, too late for breakfast'. I really like to eat lotsa complimentary breakfast at a hotel. So, before I took the dogs out, I called the front desk just in case they went to 9, maybe I could run down there before taking the dogs out, if they even had a complimentary breakfast. To my surprise and joy, I was told there was indeed a complimentary breakfast until 10. Woot! So, I took the dogs out and returned to enjoy an awesome breakfast. It was far better than a lot of the better ones I've had. There have been some pretty lame ones I have seen. This one, however, was one of the best.
This is half of it. Coffee selection with a selection of flavored creamers, a microwave to heat the three different kinds of pastries, two kinds of bagels, two kinds of muffins, a toaster, a couple butter types, and cream cheese.
Across my bagel plate.
Next to my table, which was one of prolly thirty small tables, was next to the sitting area with a sofa and two chairs. On the TV was a news report about an Italian group that's doing some tele-medicine thing in Iraq. It sounded pretty awesome. I just noticed that I didn't take a picture of the other half of breakfast. There was apple and orange juice, a selection of fresh fruit, a selection of yogurt, and a handful of other things that I would need a picture to remember .

Listening to: The same dumbass movie.

John

A/C causing a retreat

In bed after a nice shower at the awesome Hampton Inn room that Emily's dad got for us because the A/C at home died. The home warranty peeps at first said it would be Monday. Well, Emily and I agreed that was kinda unacceptable. So, they said they would make it an Emergency call thing. Well, after waiting for a call all day, her dad got us a room, so we took the kids home and went to our escape. Yes, that's a sleeper loveseat.
Merlin was about to jump in my face and bite my nose until I just happened to aim my camera in his direction. Then he laid down and started his usual good boy act. My intended picture was the desk over there, frickin cool.

Smiling. Devious little bastard.

Listening to: Some dumbass  movie with Julia Roberts and that stoopid blonde chick.

John

I am so thankful I still can

The end of the driveway was where I stopped the mower to check my voicemail, 'cause I didn't hear the phone ring and got a wild hair to check it. As I stopped for minute, I was awestruck at the amazing spectacle that is the atmospheric stuff up there around our planet half-framed by trees and w'ars.
I stopped in the middle yard just to take a picture, frickin awesome.
After I  finished finally, all b'jillion frickin acres, I sat on the tree swing with a beer and the Book for Emily's car to investigate how I would attack my next challenge, figuring out why the blower motor isn't working.
My view from the swing.
I'm not feeling like writing. I'm frickin tired. This is one across the pool. 

Listening to: Friends.

John