Can't sleep again

These last few weeks, my mind is running nonstop, even more than usual. I am glad that God's will is happ'nin, I can see so many examples of it. It helps me to be at peace when I am faced with these very intimidating challenges.

When the kids were here, I didn't have so much time to fear. I just had to do. There was no option but to make it happen. This is why I was so good in the Navy. I am good at working against the clock or overcoming way too much. God made me this way and I am thankful for it.

Now, however, I am alone, so I have more chance to think about things. In my human-ness, I think of all the reasons to fear, to fail.

On a more positive note, today was good. I went out to take care of a few things and, in the process, I was reminded of why my self-asteem should be much more than it has been. Also, that I don't have to be desperate or anxious to be with someone anymore. I miss cuddling, and what I thought was love, but I am actually content with getting to know me.

Ok, this time, writing isn't really helping me. I'm just feeling sad.

Listening to: Goin' Down, by Godsmack