I need to chart this fatigue

Huh, huh...beaver.

I think I's gonna make an Excel file er supm to chart this fatigue. I am finally feeling a bit motivated today. I did a terrible job of shaving Merlin, did the dishes, and partially cleaned the kitchen. I taked a shower before I did some laundering activities, and then I put the sheets on the daybed down here in da office. I called NAVHOSPJAX about my 18-month physical at the end of January and SunTrust about my online access difficulties. Now, I think I could make that Excel file. However, I am feeling whooped so I think I will take a break in hopes of getting my 10th wind so I can do more stuff.

Last weekend, I didn't even get the kids because I was feeling so damn wiped out. This weekend, I had decided, 'f-it' I ain't gonna bodder wit da house, I'll just let it be a mess. However, now that I am, thankfully, feeling the sparks of a combustion cycle, I do want to use some energies to tidy up. I really want to pass on to them some concept of tidyness and responsibility.

Ok, I'm tired. I fink I's gonna rest now for round two. ding, ding.

Listening to: Bathwater, by No Doubt.

Supm good I wanna share

I was reading someone's blog about a recent sailing race they were a guest on and I wanted to grab a snippet because I like the way he thinks.

***
The wind was howling but, in the case of a 25 ton, steel boat, that’s not a bad thing. The crew concentrated on keeping the boat moving at a rapid pace, I concentrated on keeping my internal contents where they were; the effects of the previous night’s excursions a constant reminder of my fragile state. Giver that I am, I thought long and hard about how I might best contribute to the efforts being put forth by the other ten members of the crew. My careful and studied analysis left me with but a single conclusion: I should stay the hell out of the way. So, in a selfless expression, I went back to bed for a nap.

Listening to: Drift an Die, by Puddle of Mudd

Pepe's Cock

I was sitting in my chair in front of the new barn where Emily's horseys now live. I was talking to Foxy, the beautiful German Shepherd, when I heard a rooster crowing. I got up to see whattup and saw one of Pepe's (the barn owner's) cocks perched atop an old rusty burn barrel.

Listening to: more like, suffering through: The Red Hot Chili Peppers on Project 9-6-1 streaming radio from Hotlanta. Woot!

Scrambling too much to be so damn tired

She has one of the nicest asses I have ever seen.

But, anyway, I am frickin exhausted fer real. Usually this fatigue keeps me floating just above worn out. I walk through most days ready to lay down and take a nap at any available opportunity. Now, I am not floating just above anymore. I'm frickin wiped.

Emily' parents are planning to arrive tomorrow. So, this is bad timing for me to be so tired. I still gots to clean my bathroom, straighten the office, and the living room. I still need to do another coat, but I basically finished the table on the back porch and made it somewhat presentable back there.

Ok, I'm gonna put this in the public Blog. This part doesn't needs ta be in here.

Listening to: Korn on Planet 9-6-1 streaming radio from Atlanta.

I frickin love this guy

This is truly the coolest horse I've ever seen. He has been sharing the pasture with Emily's equine son, so I use it as an excuse to go back there and see him when she goes to get her little man horse.

Yesterday, we went over there fer a BBQ. Then, we did the evening chores, such as bringing the horses in, feeding, watering, etc. Well, actually, I was wiped so I sat on my arse and didn't help much after getting a couple horses in. The other day, I was a frickin train, I mucked a few stalls and got some new wood chips for a few. However, yesterday, I didn't have anything left. I felt good that I had helped the other day so it wouldn't seem so much like I was being lazy.

Listening to: Gone Country, by Alan Jackson.

If I were to have a horse

He'd be just like Cupid. I frickin love this horse. He's the horse version of me and my truck. He's not quite ugly, mildly good-looking, not old but not young either, plenty strong but ain't in no hurry to get no whar, and he's got the coolest frickin mane. It's really thick and unmanageable so they keep it short so it makes this frickin awesome mohawk. Damn, it looks tough. I might consider the idea of having a horse like Cupid, however, nowadays, having a horse is too much of a luxury and thus very expensive. If I could have a bedroll on my saddle and sleep on a patch of dirt, I would do it in a heartbeat.

This is the same reason I won't bother getting another bike. It's become too much of a luxury and subsequently it has become a pain in the arse. Therefore, I will stick to my dream of having something to float on and maybe one day a sailboat. I sure do enjoy visiting Cupid and the other horseys and petting their heads. I am also hoping to get the kids involved in horsey activities. Truthfully, I expect Neriah to be a jock so he will likely have a sport to keep him occupied. Rhianna, on the other hand, I expect to be the gorgeous bookworm type, so I want her to have an interest to shield her from the influence of the other teenage girls and the stoopid boys who will lie to her to enrage her dad and cause him to hafta be the good bad guy.

Listening to: Regular People (conceit), by Pantera

revelation

I just took a shower after getting my hairs cut by Emily and I hadta fall onto my bed and rest fer a minute because the dogs threatened me. Besides, the fear they instilled in me, I was already tired from mucking stalls at the barn yesterday. Then, this morning, I decided to start painting the table on the back porch.

Anyway, as I was laying on my bed, not quite sleeping, just resting, I was given enlightenment. This is why I believe that, regardless of yer religious affiliation, introspection and meditation are the two most important practices for our lives as humans. I was thinking about one of many times, not too long ago, in which I was blessed by God far beyond my comprehension.

Here's the enlightenment part, our usual response, as a human, would be to recall what 'we' did to make it happen. I imagined an awesome analogy, or parable, I guess. Rats in a maze are trained to push a button or a lever or something to get food when they see a light. So, they know that when there is a light, they can get food. Peeps do the same thing but a bit more arrogant. We see a light and get some food, so we try to figger out what 'we' did to trigger the light, not even considering the scientist who is turning the light on and off.

The number in a phone book or the friend's recommendation or walking into a situation at just the right time has nothing to do with 'our' input. It could be anything. How God chooses to make something happen is perfectly fit to the situation. The awesome thing is, no matter how arrogant we are, or how doubtful we are, He is still working and He will still bless us regardless of our choices. What seems to be crystal clear to me is that, while our own foolishness may not stop God's plan, it can get in the way and send our bowling ball down the lane like there are gutter guards. The ball bounces back and forth all the way. It is going to get to the same damm destination. It just has a harder time of it.

Listening to: Over, by Portishead.